When I said that to Kevin a week ago, he replied: "Third-world? *Third*-world sir? When I picture 'third-world,' I picture starving people, swarms of flies and early-stage animal husbandry."
Sounds like Oakland to me... Ba-rump-pah!
Ok, fair enough. A Second-World country then. Basically functioning, if corrupt, government and infrastructure, and yet I do have to agree with my wife's earlier posting. It ain't no France.
Here is a list of the real stuff that makes Italy a Third Second-world country:
- Dual pricing for tourists and locals. Nothing says third-world like prices made up on-the-fly. Tourists routinely pay as much as 4.80 for a cappuccino, whereas a local standing at the bar pays 0.90. Hotels overcharge for phone calls. Sleazy waiters pad the check. And you can never, never let your guard down.
- The post office won't deliver postcards. That's right. Every guide book says that they just throw them away and recommends that you put them in an envelope if you 'really' want them delivered. The post office throws away mail. Sit on that one for a minute.
- Holding your passport at hotels. Those of you who have been to the real third-world know that this is standard practice. You check in to a hotel and give them your passport. They don't give it back until you pay at checkout. I can accept that in Uganda, East Timor and Cambodia (sorry Slick). But in Italy? Won't a credit card do? It just smacks of the distrust Italians have for tourists and (I suspect) each other.
- Cover charge at restaurants. Lame, lamer, lamest. The idea of paying a cover charge to have the privilege to sit down and buy food is absurd. If you want to rip me off, just jack up the prices to a ridiculous level so you...uh...never mind. They already did that too.
- 4 hour lunch hour. Everything--and I mean everything--shuts down at noon and reopens at...4pm. That's right: a four-hour long lunch break. Then, when they are "at work," they constantly complain and do everything possible to avoid any actual labor. And they wonder at the weakness of their economy... It's a zero-sum game, people. You get out of it what you put into it.
- Phone metered by the click. The last time I encountered this was in the old Soviet Union. When you make a phone call, you'll hear a buzz or click in the background every couple minutes. That's the sound of money, baby. Every click is about 17¢. And they ring up at wildly different rates. A 10 minute local call to a landline could cost 1Euro while the same call to a cellphone could cost 5Euro. No system. Just the constant sucking sound of Telecom Italia.
- They still think they're the Bomb. In general, Romans behave with a mix of arrogance and insecurity. They're like the player that heckles the other team but always misses the goal when it's his time to shoot. I think in the back of every Roman's mind the Coliseum is still open, Gladiators guard the city gates and all roads still lead to Rome. Newsflash! The Roman Empire has been in a steady state of decline for the past 1500 years.
So I suppose I have to say something nice so I don't completely offend all you Itali-o-philes out there. The cars are as as fast and sexy as the women. The art and architecture are magnificent. The history and legacy that surrounds you at every moment is awe-inspiring. There's no shortage of compliments to be paid to Italy and the Italians...but you've heard them all before. Admit it: Bad mouthing the place is ever so much more fun!
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Posted by: chkbse | February 24, 2010 at 09:19 PM
well at least in italy we have a free health service and dont have to pay an insurence like you do!!!and besides, the year of the university costs about 1000 euros and not 40.000 dollars!!!america is sick and its for rich people!!!you suck
Posted by: hello | January 21, 2010 at 07:05 AM
I'm italian, I partly agree with you.
But you should know that Italy has much more to offer to tourists than to a resident.
That's why so many italians live abroad.
Anyway I found your comment very funny.
Posted by: marco | January 20, 2010 at 06:01 AM
Greetings from Italy!!
Ciao e a presto
Posted by: marco | January 19, 2010 at 11:36 AM
I have been living in Italy for 3 years and im sorry but EVERYTHING he said its true! And so many other things that you can only know when you live here..
Posted by: Samantha R. | July 12, 2009 at 02:06 PM
hahahahha!
Ok I lived in Italy as an exchange student my sophomore year of highschool. When I'm there, i feel like I'm in a concrete jungle. The cities are horrible, no green what-so-ever. Yeah, great architecture and food, but that's only good for so long. Thank god that I lived in a small paese with a little bit of trees and fields because I'd suffocate in Milan "Literally" with all the smog! Did you notice how dirty the trains are? I know USA has little public transportation but nothing here in chicago is ever as dirty as a regionale train is in italy hehe. Take Euro Star lol. What's with the cellphones. talk about a rip off. In poland, I paid only 1 cent per SMS, in italy they charge u like 50 cents wtf, I was spending almost 50 euro a month on my cellphone bill and i barely used it! The only taste of red tape that I got was registering as a resident in my town, wasn't that bad... Gotta love italy though, the kids all dress great and spend their parent's money until they're 25 ahah, that's funny 'cus us DUMB americans work jobs at age 16-17 and on ahha. Italy's not horrible though, great people once you get to know them they'll show you the real them. Italian culture requires the people to put up a facade, let it be arrogant in milan or macho in Rome anyways.. the culture requires you to put up a facade when around strangers but once you're comfortable with the person, you can be yourself. and the person you see is usually a humble person full of love. I went in head first, putting up no facade and i made friends fast that way. I'm rambling on, gotta study for a math test tomorrow. good night,
VIVA ITALIA
Posted by: nathan Tancula | April 08, 2009 at 10:25 PM
Right on dude! I have lived in Italy off and on since 1992! I love Italy and can't seem to get enough of it. However, what you say is true. I think that is why Italians are so much fun: they are a living contradiction. As my wife says: 'Italy is the wealthiest of the third world countries.' We live here and bathe in its socialized medicine and red-tape from hell while eating cannoli, wearing sunglasses and sipping marsala.
Posted by: Scandicci | December 31, 2008 at 12:37 PM
I wonder what Italy and France would become without an income from the rude tourists money?
Posted by: Third Party | December 10, 2008 at 04:02 PM
This gave me a good laugh, well, more of a cringe because it is all TRUE - and all said in good humour. As for the many people writing in to disagree - take it from me, I have lived in Rome for years, I work for the Italian Government, my husband is Roman and I have never seen such blatant corruption, inefficiency, laziness, rudeness... and don't even get me started on the economy! Well done for being honest! I am sickened by the "love affair" the english and american media have with what they see as the italian way of life - all very well if you retire to your tuscan villa but for those of us living and working in squalid rome for a salary that would demean a fruit-picker it's a very different story. Bravo!
Posted by: melanie | December 07, 2008 at 02:06 PM
Italy is a very beautiful place with warmhearted people.there is always a problem with those who can't look for themselves and lack the quality to accept the truth. Perhaps he might be out of cash to even afford to drink a coffee.americans are foolish as bush.
Posted by: Alex | December 07, 2008 at 03:02 AM
Although your comments about Italy are rude and make you sound arrogant, some of the people that responded are obviously too sensitive.
Every country has good things and bad things, Italy is no different. If you are not ready to accept that other countries will not provide you with the comfort that you're used to at home, then you should not be traveling.
Your comment about the 4 hr lunch break was just dumb!! You cannot put down others b/c they don't have the same money hungry approach to life that we have in the U.S. I love money, I love my job, I hate resting, but will not insult those that have a different perpective about these things.
Posted by: Neocyto | January 01, 2007 at 10:19 PM
would you not think if tourists stood at the bar for a coffee instead of sitting down they'd pay 90 cents as well?
besides, i prefere living in a 4th world country than in a credit card infested society full of arrogant feckers
Posted by: fred | June 16, 2006 at 01:12 AM
Italy is an AWESOME country. But yes it has a few quirks. What country doesn’t. As an American who used to live there, I became very familiar with the quirks, some of which you describe, but grew very used to them and learned to overcome them with acceptance and LEARNING THE LANGUAGE! Yes, I would find myself arguing occasionally that I was supposed to be paying residente fees not tourista fees (there is dual pricing) and once I either showed my codice fisicale or drivers license, I was good to go. GET OUT OF THE MAIN TOURIST AREAS! You don't really have a good time until you get of the main beaten track. Wander the back alleys and roads, go to the out of the way places. The best Chinese food I ever had was just a few blocks from the Vatican! Stop in the information booths on the Autostrada and ask where the good local hotels are. They often give most excellent recommendations! Stay in Penziones instead of big name hotels. Accept the fact you are not in the USA and stop being so damn Arrogant! As some of the postings have said, our system is always the best either, it's just the one we are used to! At least the Gypsies didn't get you, be happy about that. ( I'm not kidding either) Remember to stand, not sit unless you are tired, don’t where jeans and white sneakers and a ball cap, just don't. It'd the fricken American tourist uniform! Try dressing nicely. Didn't you notice how well the locals dress? Leather shoes, slacks, a nice shirt. You get treated much better. Men of sophistication or substance are more respected. Look like it, not a bum. Well nuff said. Oh, before I forget, I LOVE riposa, we should have it in the USA. We wouldn't be so stress out all the time if we did!
Well Ciao all. And dude, get over yourself.
Posted by: Joe McLaughlin | February 24, 2006 at 04:52 AM
...but you never will get handcuffed because of your surname contains a non english character. I really preffer a second world country like Italy than a first world country like yours. I understand why you leave it...
Posted by: chumess | January 13, 2006 at 09:17 AM
I really think you should watch what you say about Italy...did u ever watch goodfellas?
Posted by: joe | July 08, 2005 at 07:25 AM
I consider this post a clear offence not only to my country but also to my intelligence.
Since I don't have much time to spend in comments because it is Sunday (11:40 PM) and I finished working just few minutes ago (I worked 16 hours today) I would suggest you to visit this link to learn some basic geography: http://www.geographyiq.com/countries/it/Italy_economy_summary.htm , this might prevent you from writing bullshits like these in the future...
Posted by: Indignation | June 05, 2005 at 02:42 PM
No wonder why people hate the Yanks! Silly girl!
Posted by: AllItalian! | April 25, 2005 at 02:57 PM
I don't understand what all the fuss is about....
Every tourist of every Nationality has always something to complain about when visiting a foreign country. This is the way it is.
But nobody should ever get offended by any kind of comment.....providing they are constructive and not offensive ones.
Italy and the Italians do not need defending themselves from allegations such as the ones in this article.
Everyone is different and that's why the world is nice. American tourists will always be welcome in Italy no matter what. And hopefully not everyone will feel the way this guy feels about our country.
One last thing...... Marie, I just wanted to tell you that unfortunately for you and your beloved France, Italy does have the art monopoly.
According to the United Nations, Italy holds more than half of the world's cultural treasures and according to Unesco, the UN's cultural body, Italy has more precious and historic art than the rest of the world put together.
The problem is trying to keep it there…that's always been the problem and that's just the way it is I am so sorry.....!!!!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/3724256.stm
As for the “Louvre” I am sure you are aware of the fact that it’s full of Italian art as most of the major European Galleries are, as result of centuries of looting of Italian art from people from all over the world.
As I am also sure that you know that your most important piece of art, the one you take National pride of, was painted by an Italian.
Does the name Leonardo DaVinci ring a bell? And what about the “Mona Lisa”’?
Yes some people in Italy are still convinced they are the bomb. I say “Dare a Cesare quel che è di Cesare” (Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar) an old Latin proverb.
p.s. (Marie you too are welcome to visit Italy again, oh I love Monet don’t like champagne though.)
Francesco
Posted by: Francesco | April 10, 2005 at 06:17 AM
there is something troubling about an American who doesn't work travelling to another country where he doesn't speak the language and criticizing their citizens when they don't work hard enough to please him!
We call them "trust funders" in the East Village where I live (and work) even if they like to call themselves "Bobos"
Posted by: m | December 16, 2004 at 04:44 AM
Utter rubbish !
I have traveled to Italy 20 times and found all the comments above obscenely false. These kinds of things only happen to Yanks and may happen to them all over the world, not just in Italy -- although increasingly we Brits begin to experience the new trend. Of course, have you asked yourself why Americans so often display Canadian flags on their luggage and give false identity information to occasional encounters: Simply because they are beginning to learn how the entire world deeply hate and loathe America. However, the problem is not being American, but carrying with oneself a set of intolerant, aggressive behaviours that everybody instinctively abhor.
One question: why should Italians not ask a cover charge at restaurants? I have been in the USA, where they rip off both customers and workers, who have to pay for most of the waiters’ salary, while their bosses don’t even pay appropriate taxes!!! America, what a democratic country is that? How do you dare to you teach the rest of the world?
You see, Americans like this chap behave with a such a mix of arrogance and deep cowardice, that their argument is only credible to fellow Americans. The rest of the world has their own opinion.
George Briggs
Posted by: george | December 09, 2004 at 04:44 AM
Utter rubbish !
I have traveled to Italy 20 times and found all the comments above obscenely false. These kinds of things only happen to Yanks and may happen to them all over the world, not just in Italy -- although increasingly we Brits begin to experience the new trend. Of course, have you asked yourself why Americans so often display Canadian flags on their luggage and give false identity information to occasional encounters: Simply because they are beginning to learn how the entire world deeply hate and loathe America. However, the problem is not being American, but carrying with oneself a set of intolerant, aggressive behaviours that everybody instinctively abhor.
One question: why should Italians not ask a cover charge at restaurants? I have been in the USA, where they rip off both customers and workers, who have to pay for most of the waiters’ salary, while their bosses don’t even pay appropriate taxes!!! America, what a democratic country is that? How do you dare to you teach the rest of the world?
You see, Americans like this chap behave with a such a mix of arrogance and deep cowardice, that their argument is only credible to fellow Americans. The rest of the world has their own opinion.
George Briggs
Posted by: george | December 09, 2004 at 04:44 AM
Some of the people commenting here seem to have no sense of humor. True or untrue, your "Italy" post was really funny. I also thought that your last comment "There's no shortage of compliments to be paid to Italy and the Italians" made things pretty clear.
Posted by: Ron | October 30, 2004 at 04:50 PM
Did you spend long in Italy? And did you wander very far off the main cow-trail when you were there?
Different countries have different ways of doing things, it's not always a question of 1st, 2nd or 3rd world.
If I wanted to criticise the US and its citizens it really wouldn't be that difficult. I could say: it's the country where children shoot each other in schools; where much of the population is obese or overweight; where most of the citizens won't be capable of telling you where Panama is; where the elected President is a man who has difficulty in speaking whole sentences on his own.
Well, I just may not be accurate in that critique, and I think you'd agree that, before coming to such sweeping and damning conclusions, it might be good idea for me to spend some time in the US or get to know some Americans.
Do you know Italy and Italians well enough to be sure that the entire Italian workforce "constantly complain and do everything possible to avoid any actual labor."
Have you ever asked yourself why people in Italy stop working at lunchtime? Is it necessarily a bad thing?
The rest of your article is peppered with inaccuracies, generalisations, and unquestioned assumptions. But I hope the above examples are enough to get my point across.
Anyway, I'll grant you that the article made entertaining reading for a couple of minutes, and effectively dismantled the European stereotype of the reflective American tourist. "the cars are as as fast and sexy as the women" Way to go...
Posted by: Patrick Downey | October 01, 2004 at 02:59 PM
ROTFL
do you really think you would pay less if you had black moustaches and a mandolin?
you arrogant&ignorant tourist parvenu
Posted by: palonz le palonz | August 31, 2004 at 03:38 AM
'A baguette mangiarane, mavvaffanculo!
Posted by: Roberspierre | August 30, 2004 at 08:16 PM