"What I did on my summer vacation"
by Dale Fox
On my summer vacation, I went to a hippie commune in Italy. Its called The Hill That Breathes. They have a cool website (http://www.thehillthatbreathes.com). But when I got there it didn't look like the pictures at all.
It was real dirty there. And hot. The house just got built, but the other stuff didn't get done yet. So there were big piles of dirt and gravel everywhere. There's no water, so the grass was all dead. There was a pool, but it was dirty too.
John and Gaia were like our Dad and Mom. They were nice, but wierd. Gaia cried a lot and liked to hug everyone. Every day we got up and then we walked up the hill and then we breathed real hard for two whole hours in the morning and two more hours before dinner. I thought I knew how to breathe but they told me I was wrong. You have to make noise and breathe real hard until your chest hurts and your head feels funny. Sometimes while we were breathing, Gaia yelled out like a crazy animal. It was scary.
I made two new friends, Estelle and Clare. They are from England so they talk funny and say "gorgeous" all the time. One day we hid down at the house and drank wine while MeiMei went up to the hill to breathe and cry. I told MeiMei I could breathe just as good down at the house but she didn't understand.
Between all the breathing, we went back to the house and we ate some food. The food there was funny. They don't eat any meat. Or any chicken. Or any fish. Or any tofu. Or any cheese. Or any milk. Or any eggs. Or any beans. Or any nuts. Or any soda. Or even chocolate! They had pasta and potatoes and salad every day. They must be poor or something.
I liked John. John was funny and short, like a Hobbit. He asked me to find my spirit animal. All I found was a mangy stray cat. I named her Fergie. The last day, I sat in a circle around this pregnant Italian girl while John tried to get me to row an imaginary canoe on a vision quest for her unborn baby. That's when I decided hippie camp sucks.
Dale:
Oy! Your blog is too funny!. David and I are going to Hong Kong and Bali for 2 1/2 weeks over Christmas - what's good to do? We're staying at the Penninsula in Hong Kong and the Ritz Carlton in Bali - the Four Seasons was booked.
Do you know of a good tailor in Hong Kong for my clothes horse husband?
Craig
Posted by: Craig | November 30, 2004 at 09:32 PM
Hippy Dippy Poems From The Hill
Ode to the Carb King and Queen
Holistic in nature they like to be seen,
But to their pissed off staff they were tight and mean,
Hardly a protein was eaten all week,
Did they buy carbs as they are just plain cheap?
Alice is Back
Down to the depths of Middle Earth we go,
Listen to the drum as we travel below,
For the rest of us on holiday, this is rather a strange habit,
Unless you are lucky like Dale and get to see a magical white rabbit!
Gaia
There was a hairy woman called Gaia,
Who liked to do readings round the fire,
She liked to breathe deep and shreik,
Was a total hippy freak,
And if she says she's into men she's a liar!
"Breathe, breathe, as loud as you can,
If you just follow me, you can also be a man"
Posted by: Estelle | August 06, 2004 at 07:21 AM
Tweaker camp? I thought that was just called "Man Camp." Either way, BBQ, sign me up! Yee-Haw!!
Posted by: Dale Fox | July 29, 2004 at 09:31 AM
Dale, it sounds like what you need is a good dose of Tweaker Camp! That's where all the fun is at. You get to drink beer, watch wrestling on TV, and kick around a dog named Skeeter. Can I get a Yee-ha?
Posted by: BBQ | July 27, 2004 at 05:32 PM